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Don't Believe Just Anyone   https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/te7/1/16/1f494.png                           
Be wise in your search for answers.
                                                                                                                                                                                     


After learning of Naomi Judd's suicide and having known about her estrangements from her oldest daughter, I searched for information on why a daughter who loves her mother would often be estranged from that mother, in part or fully. As a result of my internet search, I found strong proof of what I have known for some time. When searching for answers, don't believe just anyone. I came across a video of a woman named, Dana Arcuri, a video that was outrageous. This video blamed all parents for any and all family estrangements. According to this video nobody would be estranged from a loving family, and all people who have walked away, in-part or fully, did so from decades of abuse. Dana said she went no contact with her birth family in 2018, wanting the viewer to believe she'd suffered family abuse for decades. While coming totally unglued in this video, her goal's to get people to believe this is how it is with everyone who has broken away from a birth family to any degree. Well, Dana could not be more wrong. It is known that highly narcissistic people will use alienation, in-part or fully, to control others. It's emotional blackmail, to get others into submission to them. And when this happens, it can actually be the victim of the narcissistic person that finally fully walks away, proceeded by speaking up and saying so, or by simply no longer contacting the narcissistic person. And without knowing enough about both parties, it can be hard to know who's who in the estrangement.


Dana's Claim

Dana claimed to be a bestselling author and had a list of "credentials" on her website that basically amounted to nothing. Some simple online searches of her so-called credentials proved them to be bogus and nothing was found showing her to be a bestselling author, but she is an author. I found her books on Amazon, a place where anyone can sell books. Her first book, dated 2014, is a 50-day devotional book that makes her sound good. She even thanks her mother, profoundly, saying her mother was not only a wonderful mother, but also her best friend, whom she is forever grateful. The full dedication can be seen to the left here on this page. By all accounts one might think this is a great book with a great author.

Fast Forward 

Just six years later, in 2020, this same author in another book tells quite a different story of her mother, see the below picture about that book. As in that crazy video that I found, she now claimed to come from a dysfunctional family. And if you find her books, which are easily found on Amazon and click on the "Look Inside", you will see that she refers to her mother as an unfit mother for having cut her hair short after she got gum stuck in her hair, due to falling asleep with it in her mouth, saying it was an unfit punishment and made her look like a boy. She implied her mother was not a loving mother, saying a loving mother would not have done that. So much for being forever grateful. And it's a slap to survivors of truly abusive parents.


The Danger of It

This would be funny, if not for that some people actually pay-mind to what this woman has to say. Her angry YouTube video could cause innocent parents such emotional pain. I could not imagine how a hurting mother who is in a state like Naomi Judd was in, would deal with hearing such cruel words as what Dana said on that YouTube video. And it breaks my heart to think of the division she wrongly encourages in families that really need healing, where kids were not abused, where they had loving upbringings, but something went wrong with their own insecurities after they grew up.

I have said it myself, that if you are being harmed, truly harmed and cannot get the person to stop, then walk away. And this is even if the person loves you, but your life is being very harmed by what the person is doing to you, even if the person appears to really believe you did something to cause what happened, but you know nothing you did deemed such treatment. Dana's angry video speaks of a study that said most all people who are estranged from birth family really believe they did all they could do to make things right with that family. Believing something does not make it true.  

Perhaps something happened to Dana in those six years that caused her to lose her sanity and change her story about her mother, and she really believes all parents of estranged adult children are evil and need to be emotionally destroyed. Perhaps she's just lying and found there is money to be made and attention to be gained in telling her newer story. Well, some money, not much, considering she has a donation link on her website page. Bestselling authors do not need donations to pay their bills. Please, don't believe just anyone. Be wise in your search for answers. And don't just believe anyone who uses bible scripture, as she also does. Anyone can use scripture. Search out more information from that person, to know more about that person.


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 Debra J.M. Smith