Shh....
We must save face and
not let it be known that we have family troubles. What if someone would be
happy about it! Oh, we cannot have that. Someone who hates us might laugh
at our pain. Again, we cannot have that. So, we are meticulously careful
about who we let it be known to, like counselors, pastors, close friends,
and not so close friends, anyone who will listen, as long as they keep our
secret.
Surprise
Let me let you
in on a little secret. People with functioning brains know that all
families have troubles. Surprise!
Failures
If
having family troubles make us failures, then every person
who has ever walked this earth has been or is a failure. Even Jesus
had family troubles. Seriously, Google the topic. There is plenty of bible
commentary on the troubles that Jesus' family
had.
Estrangement or Holding
On
Estrangements can be originated by a person who was
doing the wrong or by the one who was done wrong. Sometimes it can be both
people, beginning with one person and then by the other person.
Estrangements can be full or partial estrangements, where the relationship
is really over but nobody has the courage to come out and say the obvious.
And often both parties will hold on just enough to continue the
relationship but never actually solve anything, so the problem just keeps
popping back up again and again, till one dies.
Why
Trying to
understand why a family falls into troubles is like trying to figure out
why wars begin. It just happens. It's part of life. And we often hurt
ourselves more than anyone else does, when we go through such times. If
the other person does not do us in with his/her words, we do ourselves in
later by reliving the nightmare over and over again in our own minds or
talking about it till our voices give out.
Normal
Just look at the endless
information online on the topic of family troubles. It is so normal
that people have gotten rich just writing on the topic and
counselors have done financially quite
well listening to the same stories from family after family. Yes.
It's normal. And while I do not believe that I will get rich writing about
family troubles, I am going to tackle this topic in a new series of my
own. And let me just start with saying, "My name is Debra, and I have
family troubles." Please join me in coming out of the dark and bringing
this very real problem out into the light and possibly getting empowered
together in handling living with family
troubles.
