Living With Family Troubles                             
We All Have Them 


We must save face and not let it be known that we have family troubles. What if someone would be happy about it! Oh, we cannot have that. Someone who hates us might laugh at our pain. Again, we cannot have that. So, we are meticulously careful about who we let it be known to, like counselors, pastors, close friends, and not so close friends, anyone who will listen, as long as they keep our secret


Let me let you in on a little secret. People with functioning brains know that all families have troubles. Surprise!


If having family troubles make us failures, then every person who has ever walked this earth has been or is a failure. Even Jesus had family troubles. Seriously, Google the topic. There is plenty of bible commentary on the troubles that Jesus' family had.

Estrangement or Holding On

Estrangements can be originated by a person who was doing the wrong or by the one who was done wrong. Sometimes it can be both people, beginning with one person and then by the other person. Estrangements can be full or partial estrangements, where the relationship is really over but nobody has the courage to come out and say the obvious. And often both parties will hold on just enough to continue the relationship but never actually solve anything, so the problem just keeps popping back up again and again, till one dies.


Trying to understand why a family falls into troubles is like trying to figure out why wars begin. It just happens. It's part of life. And we often hurt ourselves more than anyone else does, when we go through such times. If the other person does not do us in with his/her words, we do ourselves in later by reliving the nightmare over and over again in our own minds or talking about it till our voices give out.


Just look at the endless information online on the topic of family troubles. It is so normal that people have gotten rich just writing on the topic and counselors have done financially quite well listening to the same stories from family after family. Yes. It's normal. And while I do not believe that I will get rich writing about family troubles, I am going to tackle this topic in a new series of my own. And let me just start with saying, "My name is Debra, and I have family troubles." Please join me in coming out of the dark and bringing this very real problem out into the light and possibly getting empowered together in handling living with family troubles.


 Debra J.M. Smith