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Abused By Someone Who Loves You
| Victims of Emotional
Abuse
Emotional abuse causes a person to fall
under the control of the person inflicting the abuse, via
actions that cause fear, weakness, and confusion. The
strongest of people can fall prey to emotional abuse when the
inflictor is a very trusted person.
The inflictor
wears the victim down with non-stop fighting, goading, lying,
and deflecting, all resulting in the victim questioning
his/her own memory, perception, and even mental state of
mind. The inflictor
will at times show kindness, which gains trust that further
confuses the victim.
Eventually, victims try to avoid
incidents and feel they are doing good by keeping silent and
thinking they are keeping the peace. But this lack of action
enables the abuse to continue, abuse that went from getting a
reaction by goading the victim, to gaining a submissive
control to silence the victim.
Victims also over apologize and try and be
better. The inflictor will not do the right thing. So, the
victim takes this on. –This only serves to fuel the
inflictor.
Inflictors can appear weak, but it’s just
manipulation. Do not fall for the greatest trick of all that
they use. If they were as weak as they appear, they would not
have the courage to be abusive to
you.
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Family
Estrangement
The Heartache
It begins
with a person walking in the flesh, who finds him/herself hurting and not
dealing with that hurt and instead being cruel to and targeting a
loved-one. Then comes the guilt, and it just snowballs from there. The
loved-one becomes the target of false accusations and troublesome behavior
that messes with the head and the heart.
Guilt
There is not much
greater guilt that a person can have, than the guilt of harming a
loved-one. Then it is a very easy step from there to seek to blame the
person being harmed, to try and remove the guilt.
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If you find yourself in such a situation and
talking to the person does no good, wait on the Lord to work on that
person, even if it means walking away. But remember that it does not mean
that you are not loved by that person, as it could actually be love for
you that is making it hard for that person to do the right thing, because
of the guilt of having hurt someone he/she loves. Also, he/she will behave
as the injured one and seek to invalidate your hurt.
Do not let this person invalidate your hurt.
Turn to God to take away that hurt and heal your heart. And also pray that
God will heal the one who has hurt you. Then wait on the Lord, be open to
a reconciliation if one is ever possible in the future, and go on with
life.
Giving Up
What if
it comes to a point when you realize there is not going to be a
reconciliation, that the other person has made it where it is not possible
to reconcile? Whatever the reason is that you have come to the conclusion
that this person is not going to reconcile with you, then fully letting go
is all you can do.
Finding Peace
Yes,
someone you thought would never turn on you, has done just that. No matter
how it happened, no matter the details, if you were not at fault your
world has been turned upside down. You have felt hurt like you have never
felt before. This is why so many people do whatever they can to avoid a
full estrangement and hold on and never give up. Problem is they live in a
state of waiting. Facing the truth and letting go, when the relationship
no longer exists, is the only way you can heal and find
peace.
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