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Are Women To Blame When Men
Lust
Years ago I
heard a story about a minister approached after Sunday service by a woman
in his congregation. She expressed her dislike of women wearing
make-up. (Clearly she thought he would agree with her.) The minister
looked at the woman and said to her, "Some women should try it."
It
is not that I begrudge a woman her right to go out exposing the face the
good Lord gave her. I just happen to prefer to hide mine behind
a coat of Estee Lauder's Total
Coverage.
I
do however, wonder why some of those women care about my skin phobia? I
mean seriously. Why do some women feel the need to go on and on
telling me about how they do not need make-up? I don't care that they
do not wear make-up. Hey, I am cool with
that!
It
is said that women should 'play themselves down' because men cannot
handle it. Everything from make-up to spaghetti straps are of the
devil. We are to dress like old one room school house teachers, or we
are to blame if a man looks our way. Because, don't ya know, the whole
reason a woman dresses to look her best is so that men will look at
her.
Where
do these people get this from? When I dress to take 20 pounds off of my
looks before walking out that front door, other men looking at me is
simply the furthest thing from my
mind.
With the exception
of how our own man sees us, most of us women think very little about
how men see us. We women care more about what we see when we look in
a mirror. And there is nothing wrong with simply having good grooming and
wanting to take care of one's body. Actually such is a good thing and
can be quite up-lifting.
Many women
dress to look fit and trim and put together. And many of us like looking
like women and do not want to dress down. Years ago there was an
older woman who headed up a youth group at a church we used to go to. She
was a grandma, who had a son with a roaming eye (he headed up the youth
group with his mother). She would tell females at the youth group to wear
sweat-shirts, as to not bring attention to their breasts. I found this out
when my daughter went, and this was asked of the both of us. Well, that
went over about as well as Tony The Tiger in a General Mills factory!
Not
only was I not about to let a woman tell my daughter and me to dress down
so that her roaming eye full grown son would more easily deal with the
fact that God made woman, I was not about to wear sweat-shirts because I
look fat in them! So
that leads me to my question. Are women to blame when men look? Well,
hmm... no! Does my answer mean that no women dress to entice men? mmm...
no!
Yes, there are
women in this world who dress, on a whole, to entice men. Such
is seen in pornography--but
I believe that it is not the rule of thumb with the majority of
women. And men can turn away from viewing such, even in
person. This is not to say that I do not get upset at a
woman exposing herself, truly exposing herself--like in
pornography. It simply means that if a man lusts, it is his
fault. --In
most places (not all, ie: in church or on the news) I do
not see a little cleavage or showing a belly button as exposing
oneself. If a man is uncomfortable even with that, again, he can turn
away. And most bathing suits are just fine, men who have a problem with
such, don't have to go to the beach or look in my back
yard!
I
taught my daughters how to dress for their sake. The way a woman
dresses, says a lot about her. The Bible speaks of women
dressing modestly in church, to not show off to others what we have.
It
is important that women dress like women. It is better for a woman to be
dressed feminine, than manly--even when wearing jeans. I am concerned that
many Christian women are forced to dress like men or a big bag of
potatoes, because of the guilt put on them by some Christian men. I
have seen Christian women who clearly are trying to hide their
curves.
No
matter how a woman is dressed, I believe if a man looks at a woman
lustfully, that is his sin and not hers. This is with the exception of
that rare occasion when a play-boy bunny hog-ties a man down and
forces him to take a peak!
It
really is time that men take responsibility for their own actions.
How can anyone expect men who sexually desire to be with other men,
to control themselves, if Christian heterosexual men blame women?
Sorry, but sin is sin. Lust is lust, and such is sin.
Many
men of today are at a crossroad. The right answers are available to
them. The right way to go is clearly spelled out in Scripture. Those
men who have a lust problem with seeing a woman dressed in anything
less than a potato sack need to get closer to God and grow up. And
they need to stop blaming the
woman. |
