"Alcohol - The Devil In The Bottle"
                                                         Lessons Learned 

This is one of those across the isle things that people are very passionate about. I bet there would be more uproar in the streets if Alcohol were to be made illegal, than guns, abortion and homosexuality combined.

It was years back that a friend of two years got behind the wheel of a car after drinking and ended up in a serious car crash. I really trusted this person and did not believe that my then-friend would have gotten behind that wheel drunk. As a matter of fact, I was the only one to defend this person. 

However, I did come to realize during the ordeal that resulted in a stay in rehab for a severe brain injury, that drinking had impaired this person's judgment, whether clinically drunk or not. I came to realize that if it only takes one drink to impair a person's judgment, then a person could drink another and another and another. The possibilities are pretty much endless of what that person could do.

I met up with quite a bit of resistance while speaking with a long time friend of this person about alcohol. The friend, who had no problem trashing our "then" mutual friend, could not grasp that if it only takes one drink to impair a person's judgment then no drinker has room to talk, as this friend also drank. Through the ordeal I learned that my then-friend was surrounded by closet alcoholics, who lashed out at this person as a human being, rather than blame the drinking of alcohol. To do such, would mean they should all stop drinking. Clearly it takes far less to be a form of an alcoholic.

It was so sad how all of the people close to this person drank and yet called this person an alcoholic and spoke so ill of a person who they were suppose to love, while the person was still recovering from having nearly died. It was clear to me that they were all trying to justify their own guilt and their own drinking. It was also clear to me that people can be really messed up.

The spouse even drank in the home and kept alcohol there, as well. How a spouse justifies that behavior is beyond my way of thinking. And no one talked as bad about this person during the ordeal, than the spouse did. It really freaked me out. The things that were said were so horrid. It was a hard thing for me to learn, that I had had no idea what these two people were really like or the real illness that was behind this person's drinking. Actually, I had no idea that people like this really existed off of the big screen, and an entire group of them. My husband was even shocked by all that transpired. --And not much shocks my husband. Actually my husband rarely comments on anything, but he did get to a point of telling me that this was one seriously messed up group of people.

There was even a bad minister and a bad lawyer too. My then-friend asked me to talk to both of these people, because it was no secret that the spouse (who prior to the car crash claimed to be getting a divorce) was not visiting this person in the rehab center, and yet was in charge of all of the care-making decisions. Needless to say this person was very scared. Actually it was more like begging me to call the minister, which I was reluctant to do and did not want to do, but for my then-friend, I did do. Both the minister and the lawyer broke confidence and went to the spouse.

After the minister went to the spouse, the spouse finally did go visit, but only to push the brain-injured patient to the point of totally losing it, which caused the rehab center to drug the patient up into a barely living state and then to transfer the patient, who had been recovering very well, into a nursing home. I believe the patient would have stayed indefinitely, drugged up in that nursing home, had I not gotten another person, an outside person involved. I don't know if my then-friend has ever been told that I got that person involved, so that the spouse would see it was not going to stay a secret, that people outside of their inner circle would find out that this abused person was not being allowed to get better

In the end, this person did get better and is even back to work. However, in the end I was thrown under the buss by my then-friend and lied about in order to keep that abusive spouse from going for the divorce. I had been told two weeks prior to the accident that a divorce would be too embaressing to deal with, that such would mean failure in the eyes of those who were closest to the couple. But I had no idea just how far this person would go to stop the divorce from happening.

If ever you think that a friend is drinking the troubles of a bad marriage, get away from that person. You will get used, and you risk being thrown under the buss, if such is what the abusive spouse demands. You see an abusive spouse gets very upset at a friend who sympathizes for the victim.

Let me put it to you this way, if one is willing to stay with an abusive spouse to the point of hurting ones own body, that person will not hesitate to hurt you. Alcohol is a tool that is used by many victims of spousal abuse who never face up to the evil that is in front of them that they are actually allowing. And they hurt others, whether it be throwing a friend under the buss or killing someone on the road.

Yes, alcohol is the devil in the bottle that many use in an attempt to deal with the devil in this world. It is a sick circle with an endless battle that some choose to stay in.

Debra J.M. Smith -  

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 Debra J.M. Smith