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An Exchange With A Homosexual Teen and A Psychologist
July 27, 2009



                                          The following is an exchange that I had online 
                                   with a homosexual eighteen year old and a



Teen: How Do You Feel About Gay Guys Acting Like They're Straight? This dude I met at orientation is clearly gay. Seriously, I have NO doubt in my mind that he is. His facebook saws he's interested in women though...and he's even gotten himself a girlfriend. Yet e... This dude I met at orientation is clearly gay. Seriously, I have NO doubt in my mind that he is. His facebook says he's interested in women though...and he's even gotten himself a girlfriend. Yet everything about him screams gay! How do you feel about gay guys acting like they're straight?



Me: It is very hypocritical of a homosexual to question a person that is showing himself to be heterosexual, on if he is actually homosexual.

I find it very interesting how some, possibly many homosexuals will get upset with a homosexual who either does not come right out and fess up to it or who admits to it and then turns away from it and claims to have changed to heterosexuality.

Is it not the homosexual plea, that a person has a right to live whatever sexual "preference," he/she wishes to live? Is it not the homosexual plea, that a person should not be told that he/she is not really the sexual "preference," he/she claims to be?

Many people fight urges to live in sin. If a person chooses to fight the sin of homosexuality, let him. That is his right. Leave him alone.

You have a right to think homosexuality is not a sin. He has a right to think it is a sin. You have a right to live that way. He has a right not to.


Teen: You act as though your sexual orientation is something you can control. I am a firm believer that it is not something one can control about themselves. So when someone I think is a homosexual tries to act heterosexual, I think itís just that, an act. Whether its out of religious conviction, fear, or whatever, its still an act to me. I think that man has the right to choose not go after other men, but I donít agree with the choice. It boggles my mind why you would continuously try to deceive yourself and others. I understand it, but through my experiences, it perplexes me why others would do so. They need to see the light.

If it weren't for religious morality homosexuality would not be as looked down upon as it currently is. Up until Christianity, homosexuality wasn't necessarily a bad thing. The Greeks actually looked favorably upon male-male courtship. Nero, an emperor of Rome, was married to another man! I think its ridiculous to look at yourself and see yourself as sinner because of sexual urges you have absolutely no control over.

Me: See, that is just it.

Many people, including myself, believe homosexuality to be a sin, deriving from the sin that we are all born in.

People like myself, also believe that in Christ, we can change and walk away from sinful behavior. We believe that we are a new creation in Christ, that we were spiritually born, the day we called on Jesus Christ in truth, to save us from our sin and the penalty of that sin.

We believe in and have experienced fully walking away from sinful behaviors. However, some things we struggle with in the flesh, still. Our flesh is often, our greatest struggle. But no matter what, we believe in walking away from sinful behavior.

We put our Lord, Jesus Christ, ahead of our own sinful flesh desires. It really comes down to, who a person chooses to live for. Does a person chose to live for the Lord, Jesus Christ, or for him/herself?

A born again believer in Christ, chooses to live for Jesus Christ. And we like our lives that way. You could say, we were "Born" that way, when we were born again, spiritually born from above. That which is fleshly, is born of the flesh of man. That which is spiritual, is born of the Spirit of God.

Basically, a believer in Christ, has had two births. And a believer in Christ, has a choice to walk in the life that came from the first birth (the flesh birth) or the second birth (the Spiritual birth.)

A believer in Christ is not happy, walking in the life that came from the first birth, such seems so foreign and odd to us. We are only truly happy, walking in the life that came from the second birth, which is all that is normal to us.

Hope that helps clear it up

Psychologist: I am finally going to post a comment about this. I just HAVE to point out to Christians my experience. I have counseled, researched and known many homosexuals along both my personal and professional path and let me tell you the scenario I see played out time after time.

Many homosexuals want to embrace Christianity and do believe in Jesus/God, etc. But they know the majority of Christians won't accept them because of their sexuality. Sometimes they try to hide it and sometimes they try to "change" it. Some will get married and some will be abstinent ---they will do whatever they can to resolve this constant, torturous personal conflict.

But guess what? Maybe their behavior changes, but for most of them, those urges, thoughts and desires DON'T. And that personal conflict between the beliefs they want so much to embrace and this part of themselves continues.

Eventually somethingís got to give. They've already done everything they can to change their homosexual thoughts, etc. But they don't change. Guess which one they have to give up?

Me: Then it is time that they let go and let Jesus create in them a new person, in Christ, a person who can change.

That which is not possible for man, is possible in Christ.

Jesus does the changing of the heart, in a born again believer.

If a person tries "in the flesh" to give up any sin, he certainly can and often will fail and give up.

It is not about a person trying hard in the flesh to be a Christian. It is about a born again Christian, walking in the Spirit of God, conquering the things of the flesh.

It's all about Jesus.


Psychologist: Let me play devil's advocate here. What if....now just go with me on this... what if we someday discover that there really is something internally or physiologically different about individuals who are homosexual. And I mean the ones who feel that way from a very young age---even before the "age of accountability" or before they know why they even have sexual desires or anything about sexuality at all. And this happens a lot.

What would this mean to Christians who have shunned or rebuked homosexuals and it has turned them away from God?

Don't we single homosexuals out because their "sin" is more visible to us? Do we do this to everybody else who sins?


Me: Please notice that you used the phrase, "Let me play 'devil's' advocate here." --Something in you knows. You see the truth is written on our hearts.


Pertaining to your questions:


If there were ever to be found in a person a genetic situation that showed a baby is going to have a tendency at some point in life towards homosexuality, then there would also be found a genetic situation that showed a baby is going to have a tendency towards stealing or murder or other sin. 


Such would not make any sin right or acceptable. It would only go to further show, the need for Jesus Christ in a person's life, in order for a person to turn from his/her sin.


You asked if we single out homosexuals:


We do and we don't.


While people who practice some other sexual sinful lifestyles are behind bars, the sexual sin of homosexuality (alone) does not put a person in prison, these days.


However, those of us who oppose homosexuality, for the most part, speak out more often on the topic of homosexual sin, than other sexual sins. Speaking for myself, this is because so many homosexuals are pushing their sexual sin on the whole of society and claiming it not to be a sin. We don't see other sexual sinful behavior being promoted in the streets, in the schools, in the work places, on blogs, etc.


The topic post that began this exchange is an example of what I mean. It was put out there, so it was commented on. We will rarely, if ever, see a post on this site that is asking that a pedophile stop pretending to want an adult relationship and just go with his/her desires.


I suppose if they just kept it in their bedrooms, most of us who are against homosexuality, would rarely talk about the topic.



Psychologist: That's a great response.


Me: Thank you...

And thanks for the pleasant exchange.



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© Debra J.M. Smith